British Columbia, CA - Writer Andrew Holota recently commented on pit bull advocacy "nuttery" that claims a media conspiracy is behind the pit bull problem that has plagued cities around the world for decades. Holota uses clever quips such as, "oodles of poodles popped by cops all the time," to drive his point home. His focus on "bad guys" and pit bulls likely comes in response to the incident involving a B.C. police officer shooting a pit bull to death that was attacking a llama.
Today, Pit Bulls, Tomorrow the WorldBy Andrew Holota, SurreyLeader.com
August 20, 2009
Well there, it’s out of the bag now.
The great, grand conspiracy of the media to destroy the fine upstanding reputation of pit bulls, by only reporting on attacks by this particular breed, and covering up police shootings of all other canines.
This happens everywhere, don’t you know, or at least according to the pro-pit bull/media conspiracy theorists.
Yessir, there are oodles of poodles popped by cops all the time, and the press does not report it.
And attacks by psychotic shih tzus? Covered up. Muzzled, so to speak.
Children savaged by Scottish terriers? Quashed. Hushed puppies, if you will.
Oh yes, the conspiracy runs deep indeed.
You see, you can understand the owner of the crazed corgi not contacting the media to report a violent incident involving his beloved pet, who has just taken a chunk out of Mrs. Hurtinheinie’s rear end.
However, there is usually someone else involved in these things, like say, Mrs. Hurtinheinie, for instance, who just doesn’t want to stay quiet.
The victim usually feels somewhat put out having been punctured by someone’s dear pet, and they tend to call the press or TV to make it public.
Do you have any idea how difficult it is to cover up those devastated victims of vicious attacks by manic Maltese, wild whippets, and belligerent bassets?
It takes a huge amount of coordination and cooperation between multiple levels of media to ensure this information never reaches the general public. Because, of course, if the media ignores them, these ‘other dog’ victims have a tendency to tell other people, like their family, friends and neighbours, and then it’s out there!
Multiple attacks by insane Danes, and unbalanced beagles – all suppressed.
I have a theory, too.
Could it be there are more stories of cops taking on pit bulls because bad guys like to keep pit bulls around? For some reason, the bad guys just don’t have the same affection for Airedales.
So, maybe that’s why more pit bulls get shot by cops than say, by mail ladies. I mean, when’s the last time you heard of a mail lady emptying her semi-automatic handgun into a demented pit bull?
Wait ... mail ladies don’t have semi-automatic handguns! And mail ladies aren’t likely to go barging onto a property that has a pit bull snarling and foaming away behind a big gate watched by video cameras.
Whoa, do you suppose that’s maybe why the bad guys have got pit bulls? To keep people like mail ladies and other prying eyes away from their nefarious activities?
But those darned police just refuse to stay away – probably because we pay them to get bad guys.
So if a pit bull is hellbent upon disassembling their body parts, the cops might try gentle persuasion like pepper-spray and Tasers for a bit before they lose patience, and administer the 9-mm pill.
Tranquilizer guns? It’s a police raid, not a grizzly bear research project!
Another thought ... maybe pit bulls get such a bad rap because that mix of breeds is highly prevalent in child maimings and fatal canine attacks. The media has noticed people tend to be interested in children and death.
Hey, a crazy theory, I know.
However, we have a conspiracy to organize. Today, we take on pit bulls and their owners.
Tomorrow, we take over the world!
Mwaa-haaa-haaa-ha! (evil laugh).
... a world without pit bulls."
04/16/09: Editorial: Pit Bulls Are Ticking Time Bombs (British Columbia)
02/06/09: Ecuador Joins International Trend: Bans Pit Bulls and Rottweilers as Pets
01/24/09: South Africa Struggles with More Violent Pit Bull Attacks
08/20/08: A Ban on the Breed is the Solution to the Pit Bull Problem